Frozen Moon
by Jesabelle
Summary: Here is the fic where I explore the unlikely yet strangely appealing pairing of Draco & Luna... read and let me convince you ;)
1. Chapter One

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Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

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Chapter One 

Pansy huffed irritably, and threw down her Transfiguration notes. It was _impossible_ – how did McGonagall expect them to do a homework like that that when they hadn't even gone over it in class? She frowned and took to examining her nails for any chips in the nail varnish. It was a deep green colour, with little silver twinkling stars and moons – a gift from Draco last Christmas. 

__

Speaking of Draco, Pansy mused, _I wonder where he is? I haven't seen him all evening._ She looked around the common room lazily. It was late so there weren't many people up – just some fourth years playing Wizard Chess in the corner, and a couple of girls giggling over a piece of parchment behind her. She wrinkled her nose and rolled her eyes with half a mind to go and dock points for pure stupidity, but that would just be stupid. Whoever heard of a Prefect taking points from their own House?

__

Maybe he's in his dorm, she continued to ponder listlessly._ He'd better not be. I haven't said one word to him since dinner, it'd be most unlike hi – _

"Guess who?"

Pansy nearly shrieked with fright as a pair of hands clamped over both her eyes. 

"Draco!" she tutted angrily, whirling round and glaring at him. "Don't _do_ that to me!"

Draco sidled up next to her on the plush green sofa, and pecked her cheek. "Sorry, darling," he grinned, not sounding sorry at all. "I couldn't resist."

Pansy tried to fight the smile pulling at the corner of her mouth, but gave in and grinned back. "Where've you been all evening?" she asked, trying to sound casual, but secretly annoyed that he'd abandoned her for this long.

Draco shrugged. "Here and there. Mostly the library. That Transfiguration essay's a killer, huh?"

"Tell me about it," Pansy rolled her eyes, waving her hand in the direction of her discarded notes. "I gave up in the end."

"Tsk," Draco shook his head. "That's no way to pass your Transfiguration N.E.W.T, is it my dear?"

Pansy swotted him playfully. "Shut up. Just because it all comes naturally to you," Pansy said, poking her tongue out and snuggling into Draco's shoulder. "I missed you," she mumbled. "Why didn't you invite me, hmm?"

Draco wrapped an arm around her shoulders and gave them a little squeeze. "I had to _work_, darling, not sit in the library and make fun of first years, as much as I enjoy doing that with you. It's a busy time at the moment, with the N.E.W.Ts coming up and all."

Pansy narrowed her eyes and glared at Draco. "Don't give me that," she said haughtily. "Is there... I mean, have you... _found_ someone?"

Draco laughed. "Yeah, right," he said, rolling his eyes. "Like there's anyone half decent in this blasted school!" He walked his fingers up her leg to the middle of her thigh, "and you know you're the only girl for me," he grinned wickedly.

"Oi!" Pansy laughed and moved her leg from under his touch, but she still wasn't satisfied. She took hold of one of his hands and began twirling his Malfoy crest ring round his finger. "And besides," she mused. "There's plenty of perfectly decent people here. Well, if we're talking Slytherin, then I guess not. Having said that, though, Daphne Greengrass is very pretty. Very well off, too…" she trailed off and shot a sideways glance at Draco to observe his reaction.

Draco blushed a vibrant shade of crimson. "Now, now, Pansy..." he began awkwardly. "I'm just, you know, not looking at the moment," he whispered. She grinned back at him.

"So it _is_ that you've found someone!" She sat up straight and looked Draco directly in the eye, as if the truth were behind them.

"No," he said firmly. "I just don't want to talk about it."

"Fine," Pansy muttered sulkily. "So you really were in the library?"

"I really was in the library," Draco echoed, shaking his head at her and smiling.

"Okay," Pansy said happily. "Has Saint Snotter been doing his usual 'I'm-So-Great' Head Boy act recently?"

Draco grinned and poked Pansy in the ribs – "No," he laughed. "I think the novelty might be wearing off a little. Merlin _knows_ what an idiot like that is doing as Head Boy."

"Like his father," Pansy snorted in disgust. "He wasn't Prefect either. Dumbledore's mad."

"Yeah," Draco said quietly, glancing at his watch. "Speaking of fathers, Pansy, I've got something to do. I'll catch you later, okay?" 

"Hang on," Pansy said, catching hold of his sleeve. "Where're you going? You've only just come back!"

"I have to write a letter to my parents," he said quickly, almost as though he had the excuse rehearsed. Pansy narrowed her eyes at him.

"Why?"

"Because! Parents expect letters, Pansy! And Father'll want to know why I didn't make Head Boy, anyway. It'll be a big disappointment to him."

Pansy snorted. "Of course it'll be a disappointment!" she said scornfully. "A disappointment to this stupid school, that's what! Potter as Head Boy, for goodness sake," she shook her head and pulled a face.

"Yeah," Draco said weakly. "A disappointment to the school."

"Your father's a sensible man, anyway," Pansy said approvingly. "He'll know that it should've been you."

Draco looked a little ill as he nodded, staring down at his feet intently. "Yeah."

"Can't you write the letter tomorrow, anyway?" she whined, looking at him with widened eyes.

"I'd love too. But I really have to do it now. I'll see you at breakfast tomorrow, 'kay?" 

He swiftly placed a kiss on the top of Pansy's head and jogged over to the portrait hole, climbing out. Pansy watched him go frowning – surely he could just write a letter in his dormitory? _Well, maybe not if the others are asleep up there..._ She allowed that explanation to settle her, and began gathering up her Transfiguration things, more than ready to settle in for the night.

~*~

"IDIOT!" 

Draco stifled a sob as another hearty blow fell across his face. He crashed helplessly to the ground, and feebly attempted to heave himself up again – not before another booted kick landed on his arm. His fell once more, his chin hitting the floor with a resounding crack, and lay there for a few seconds, his cheek painful against the stone cold floor, trying to regain his breath.

"Potter," Lucius Malfoy spat venomously. "POTTER got Head Boy, when he wasn't even a PREFECT!"

His ribs suffered the blow this time, causing Draco to curl into the foetus position, wishing nothing more than to be dead rather than to suffer this intense agony. Hot, angry tears formed a puddle on the floor as he screwed up his eyes, not wanting to see what was coming next.

"You have caused nothing but disappointment and shame on your family since you first started that wretched school," Lucius snarled, picking Draco up by the scruff of his neck and forcing him to look him in the face. "First, that filthy little Mudblood beats you in every single test result for the past SIX YEARS! Then, that Muggle-loving idiot Potter beats you at EVERY SINGLE QUIDDITCH MATCH you play, the same obscene twerp who ISN'T EVEN A PREFECT, and yet STILL, by some absurd miracle, manages to get HEAD BOY! WHAT DID YOU DO WRONG THIS TIME, DRACO?" Lucius roared in his ear and Draco winced, tensing for the next blow, which went straight into his stomach, winding him painfully so he fell to his knees in front of his father. He gasped for breath for what seemed like forever until he could breathe normally again, shaking and sobbing freely at Lucius' feet. "Sick," Lucius snarled. "You make me _sick_. You are a disappointment to the Malfoy name. I would be better with a son who had never been born rather than _you_."

With that, Lucius turned on his heel and left Snape's office. When he was sure his father was gone, Draco shakily stood to his feet, and looked at his reflection in the mirror opposite him. He looked a state. Using a handkerchief, he wiped the blood from his nose, the tears from his eyes, and tenderly pressed against his swollen cheek. He jumped when the door opened again and Snape walked in, acting as though he had no idea about what had just gone on, as usual. He looked at Draco expectantly.

"Pleasant meeting with your father, Draco?"

Draco regarded Snape through narrowed eyes, and hesitated – "Why do you let him do it in here?"

Snape acted as if Draco had said nothing, simply turning his back and taking a vile with a pale green liquid inside from the shelf.

"You'll need this," he said, thrusting the potion towards Draco, "for your cheek. Dab it on and the swelling will go down leaving no bruise."

Draco looked helplessly at Snape, before realising that it was no good – Snape would never question anything his father did to him. No one ever would. He nodded his thanks, and slipped out of the office, making his way painfully back to the common room.

~*~

"Draco!"

Draco was struck with a mixture of relief to see a friendly face, and panic – Pansy would see him, while he looked like _this_.

"Pansy," he choked, looking down at his feet and hoping the light in the common room was too poor for Pansy to make out his red, swollen eyes and tender cheek. "What are you still doing up?"

Pansy touched Draco's arm lightly, frowning. Something was wrong. "I was waiting up for you... You went off in such a hurry earlier, I thought something might be wrong... What's the matter?"

Draco shied away from Pansy's touch, taking a few steps back and still refusing to make eye contact.

"Nothing," he said quickly, "I – I'm fine. I need to go to bed, sorry... I'm tired."

"Draco."

Pansy folded her arms over her chest and looked at him. Cocking her head to the side and frowning, she attempted to peer underneath his curtain of hair. Draco tilted his chin up slightly, and a shaft of light fell across his face, illuminating his puffy eyes, his bruised cheek, his wounded pride. Pansy gasped and her hand fluttered nervously to her throat. Draco looked... awful. What had happened to him to get him in this state? She'd never seen him look so dejected and hurt.

"What happened?" she whispered, horrified, stepping towards Draco and running her finger lightly along his swollen cheek, brushing his fringe out of his face. He winced, but didn't remove her hand. Instead, he felt tears pricking at his eyes, and a lump rising in his throat. Alarmed, Draco ground the tears furiously with his fist, and sighed angrily - he didn't want to cry in front of Pansy. Not now.

"Draco, please, you know you can tell me anything, you know –"

"Fine," Draco snapped. "Fine. I'll tell you." Pansy's hand dropped to her side, and she looked at Draco expectantly. "My father..." Draco muttered, half of him wanting to pour everything out to the girl he regarded as more of a sister than a best friend, half of him screaming that he should stop, telling him that he'd only scare her, and it was a bad idea. "He does it all the time. No one's usually awake when I get back, so I don't usually have any problem... and Snape usually gives me stuff for the bruising, so..."

"Snape?" Pansy whispered hoarsely, feeling slightly nauseated.

"Snape lets my father use his office. Only at night... I don't think Dumbledore'd be too pleased if he knew an accused Death Eater was wondering about the school. He comes and sees me when I've done something... failed a Quidditch match, done badly on a test... not made Head Boy..."

Draco looked Pansy in the eye for the first time that night. She looked pale, like she was about to be sick, and was wringing her hands anxiously, her eyes darting about the room, avoiding looking at his face. 

"Pansy..." he began, raising a hand to stroke her hair. She stepped back as though Draco's touch had electrocuted her, looked at him fearfully, and turned on her heel, half stumbling in the effort to get back to the girls dorm as quickly as she could. 

Draco watched her go with a heavy heart. _Why_ hadn't he listened to himself? He _knew_ it was a bad idea telling Pansy. She thought everything was so perfect with Draco and his parents, that Lucius was the ever-doting father, and she admired and respected Lucius as much as any other Slytherin did. 

Draco fell to one of the sofas, exhausted, and winced down the contents of Snape's vile, pulling a disgusted face. He closed his eyes, adjusted himself so he wasn't lying on his painful rib, and slowly drifted into a troubled sleep.

****


	2. Chapter Two

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Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

****

Chapter Two

The following morning, Pansy sat at her stately dressing table, brushing her long, dark hair. It tumbled about her shoulders in gentle waves, it shone and it gleamed, and yet still she kept brushing. She stared into her reflection at her own eyes, not really focusing properly, just thinking. She still felt numb about what Draco had told her, and so, so awful about running out on him last evening. The news had hit her like a tonne of bricks – she was always so sure Draco had his father twisted around his little finger. He always gave Draco so much. More, even, than her parents gave her, and he was always so charming at social functions and balls. 

To think that her arranged marriage would someday, make that bastard her father-in-law.

She shuddered involuntarily, not wanting to think about the arranged marriage right now, not wanting to think about anything. To drive everything Draco had told her from her mind... He was so strong. He was always so strong. He protected her from other girl's jealousy, from failing her O.W.Ls, from going insane through lack of decent company... he was her saviour, her spiritual brother, her everything. And here he was, being beaten on a regular basis, and Pansy was powerless to stop it. It made her feel ill.

She stood up suddenly, with the strongest urge to escape Hogwarts. Looking outside she saw it was pouring down with rain – it formed puddles on the ground outside, and the sky was an ugly, dull grey. _Fitting_, Pansy mused.

She brushed past Millicent, who sat on the edge of her bed waiting for Pansy to finish. She went to stand up and follow, but Pansy turned around and said – 

"I'll see you in Charms."

She carried on down the dorm stairs, for the first time in her life praying that Draco wouldn't be waiting to accompany her to breakfast, that he wouldn't be there at all. She couldn't cope with seeing him... how was she supposed to be a decent friend to him after what he had told her? How was she supposed to help, to support? She couldn't deal with situations like this. It was scary; it was beyond Pansy's control. She hated feeling like a situation was controlling her. That was the sole reason why Draco and her never spoke about their arranged marriage... how could you marry someone you practically regarded as a sibling? It was almost impure.

When she reached the entrance hall, she flung open the heavy, oak doors and stepped outside. The rain instantly soaked her freshly washed hair and beat against her skin, ebbing through her light indoor robes, getting into her shoes. But she didn't care. She wanted to be numb, to be taken out of this situation, to be free.

Pansy ran. She ran around the side of the lake, the wind whipping painfully against her face, blinking a mixture of rainwater and tears out of her eyes as she went. When she reached the opposite side of the lake, she collapsed on the grass, exhausted. She was a state now. Her hair was bedraggled and hung limply around her face, her clothes were soaked through to her underwear, and she could barely open her eyes, for the sheets of rain that fell steadily blurred her vision.

It seemed like hours she sat there, her eyes closed, her legs pulled up to her chest and her chin on her knees. She tried to think of nothing at all, blocking all thoughts of school, of Draco... and it worked, for a bit, until, with a weary sigh, she realised that she'd already missed breakfast, half of Charms, and if she didn't hurry, she'd miss Potions, too.

She walked back to the castle with her eyes on the ground, her lip trembling slightly due to the bitter cold wind. It wasn't until she saw a pair feet headed straight for her that she looked up.

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Draco.

"Pansy..."

Pansy stopped dead in her tracks, her face inches from his. Draco put a hand either side of her face, cupping it and tilting it towards him. 

"Why are you out here? It's pissing down, and freezing."

"Because..." Pansy stepped back, blinking rainwater out of her eyes. "I can't do this Draco. I just... I still can't believe..."

"I know," Draco said simply. "I probably shouldn't have told you, but –"

"No," Pansy shook her head. "I'm glad you did."

That's when she realised. She was glad Draco had told her. She was glad.

Draco looked at Pansy. She looked a state. Her hair was soaking, her lips were blue and trembling, and her cheeks were flushed. She was biting her lip nervously, and wringing her hands the way she always did when she was nervous. He was hit with a pang of love for his best friend, and gave her a lopsided smile.

"Come here, Pansy..." Draco held his arms out, and Pansy stepped into them, glad of the warmth. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and could feel her shivering. He planted a kiss on top of her wet hair, and whispered – "it's not that bad all the time. Don't feel bad for me. I've still got you, haven't I?"

Pansy nodded into his chest, and buried her head further. She didn't want to come out of Draco's embrace, where she felt warm and safe and protected, and none of it mattered anymore. She wrapped her arms around his waist and ignored the rain and the wind, just wanting to stay like this forever.

~*~

That evening, Draco climbed the Astronomy Tower. His heart felt heavy and his mind, numb. There was an unpleasant throbbing sensation between his temples which he felt sure no headache potion would cure.

When he reached the top, he breathed a sigh of relief. The Tower had become his place of late. The place where he could go to get away from everything – the pressure from his Father, his teachers... the pressure to be a 'social leader', to be the boy everyone wanted to follow. The pressure of looking after Pansy... he loved that girl more than life itself, but Gods was she a high-maintenance best friend. The pressure of constantly thinking up new ways to get at Potter and his bunch of freaks, to live up to expectations, to be a Malfoy.

__

Fuck being a Malfoy.

"Hello."

A distant voice came from the other side of the Tower, and Draco's hand instinctively flew to his wand.

"Who's there?" he said furiously. How dare someone intrude on his place – _how dare they! _He would make sure they paid. 

"I could ask the same thing," the voice answered back, "and seeing as I was here first, I think I would have more right to."

Draco scowled angrily. "I'm a Prefect. I'm up here on duty, making sure no one is out of bounds." He lied well. He always had done.

"Surely, at this hour, the out of bounds rules apply to Prefect, too?"

Draco hesitated. It was true – after hours, it was only the Head Boy and Girl that were allowed unrestricted access in the castle. "Look, just go back to your dorm," Draco said impatiently, putting his wand away and taking a few steps forward. There was a girl, with long, tousled hair, and a shimmering blue dressing gown sitting cross legged on the floor; her head leant against the stone wall, her eyes half open. A shaft of moonlight fell across the intruders face, revealing porcelain skin, the palest of blue eyes, and a slight parting in her full, red lips.

"Who are you?" Draco repeated, but this time his tone was less aggressive, and full of curiousness.

"I know who you are," the girl replied, sitting up straight and folding her arms. "You're Draco Malfoy."

"Am I really?" Draco said scathingly. "Well, thank you, but that's not what I asked. I happen to know who I am."

To Draco's enormous surprise, the girl grinned at him. "Of course you know who you are," she laughed. "I was just saying."

"Uh...right."

There was a few seconds of awkward silence as the girl stared at Draco with an apparent interest, and he hung his head uncomfortably, unsure of what to say or do next. It wasn't often that he felt inferior in a conversation.

"I'm Luna Lovegood," she answered eventually. "Sixth year Ravenclaw."

Draco nodded; trying to place the name in his mind… he was sure he'd heard it before. "What are you doing up here?"

"What are you doing up here?"

Draco tutted again in annoyance. This Luna girl was certainly highly irritating.

"I don't think that's any of your business," he sneered.

Luna smiled again, and Draco how different she looked when she was smiling. "I know it's not. I was just wondering," she shrugged, in a tone that suggested Draco was really rather silly not to tell her.

"If you must know, I come up here to get away from it all sometimes," he snapped, folding his arms over his chest and glaring at her.

"I know what you mean about wanting to get away from it all. The girls in my dorm are all so superficies and fake. They all think I'm odd, too. Some people call me Loony Luna."

With that she let out a loud shriek of a laugh, and Draco looked at her, alarmed.

"Sssh!" he said frantically. "Shut up! Do you want to get found?!" 

When Luna had stopped laughing and become busy picking a stray thread on her dressing gown, Draco realised. _Of course, that's where I've heard her name before... Loony Luna Lovegood... the insane Ravenclaw..._

"We won't get found."

"What?" 

"We won't get found... not up here. No one ever bothers to come and check. I've been coming ever since I first started at Hogwarts and I've never been found."

Draco's eyes narrowed and he looked at her suspiciously. "If you've been coming up here ever since you came to Hogwarts," he said carefully, "why haven't I seen you before?"

Luna looked him square in the eyes. "It's not my fault you act like you're half blind most the time," she said in a very matter-of-fact tone.

Draco's eyes widened and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, rather resembling a goldfish. A smile tugged at the corners of Luna's mouth.

"I'm sorry," she said genuinely. "I should've alerted you to my presence the very first time I saw you come up here... but the very first time you – you – "

"I remember the very first time," Draco said, stung. 

It had been in his second year – he'd just received a letter from his father detailing exactly how he should be acting at the moment with the issue of the Chamber of Secrets still being up in the air. A social leader for all the Purebloods of his year, supportive of the Dark actions being taken in the school at the moment, but not too evidently... all demands, all controlling demands ruthlessly made by a man that had expected too much from him since the day he was born. And to make matters worse, he wouldn't even tell Draco who'd opened the Chamber. How was he supposed to be superior and leading if he didn't even know more about what was going on than a Hufflepuff did? He had come to the Tower, a complete emotional wreck – crying, Merlin,_ crying_, about the whole situation – hours he had sat in ball, whimpering for someone – anyone – who would understand him.

Draco would talk to himself when he was up here. He would talk to the moon, to the stars,to the empty night air, because it was the only thing that would listen. His heartbeat raced and his palms became sweaty when he recalled just some of the things he had said out loud in the Tower before, things she would've heard.

"Why the hell didn't you say something before now? It's been four years!" Draco spat, raking a hand nervously through his hair.

"Like I said, I'm sorry. I wanted to tell you, every time you would come up here and I would want to tell you – "

"Hang on," Draco interrupted. "How the hell can it be that I have never noticed you before? I'm not that blind."

Luna looked to her left. Draco had to squint his eyes and take a few steps forward to see – a little nook in the castle wall, which was pitch black if you stood even a metre or so away. He growled angrily.

"Then how come you haven't come up here when I've been up here before? I mean – surely not every time for four years have you arrived first."

Luna shrugged. "No, you're right. I haven't. Sometimes I've come upstairs and you've already been up here... but I'm very quiet, I always tip toe. And if you're here already I just sit on the steps, listening to you –"

"EVESDROPPING on me! Listening to things that are not for your ears, PRIVATE things... things I wouldn't even – can't even –" Draco broke off, feeling a rising lump in his throat. How dare this stupid little idiot sit and listen, laughing at him night after night?

"I'm sorry," Luna said quietly. "I never meant to upset you or anything. I decided to speak to you tonight because... I just wanted to tell you that I – I understand."

Draco's eyes were stinging as he lifted them to glare at her. "What do you mean you understand?" he said, with as much venom in his voice as he could muster.

"I understand what it's like to have a father like yours. I understand what it's like to be surrounded by people and not be able to talk to a single one of them. I understand what it's like to have suffered great pain in your life and not feeling as though anyone cares. I understand what it's like to have to put on a front, to not let anyone see the real you. I understand what it's like to hurt. I understand, Draco."

Draco looked at Luna. He looked at her without blinking for as long as his eyes allowed him too, until a single tear spilled over his eyelid. He wiped it away quickly, breaking her gaze, and looked at the sky outside. He felt numbed, shocked, disbelieving...grateful. He jumped when he felt a hand on his arm, and looked down into Luna's eyes, wells of sympathy and empathy. He nodded to show his acceptance, and turned on his heel, swiftly exiting the Astronomy Tower.

~*~

That night, Draco couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned, but his thoughts were plagued with images of the girls face... _"I understand what it's like to have a father like yours... what it's like to have suffered great pain in your life and not feeling as though anyone cares... what it's like to have to put on a front, to not let anyone see the real you... I understand, Draco."_ She had called him... _Draco_. No one called him Draco, except his parents and Pansy.

But Pansy was... Pansy was different. Draco grinned to himself slightly. Pansy was the exception to every rule, the opposite to everything that made sense. Pansy was just... Pansy. It would amuse him that she was his to be his future wife if it didn't feel so, so wrong. They were friends – that's just what they were, and neither of them had ever felt any different towards each other. He loved her more than he loved anyone – but as a sister. She knew more about him than anyone else in the world, she cared about him more, too, and he cared desperately about her. But there was always something missing...

Pansy was a bitch. She was brazen, wicked, scheming, and evil. She was funny, even sweet at times, and she was _very_ kind and caring, but Draco always had problems opening up to Pansy. He never felt like she could really appreciate and understand his problems, because she was so carefree and innocent to the evils of the world. Sure, she had grown up, like he had, surrounded by Dark magic – the Slytherin families always had been the dark underbelly of the Wizarding world, everyone knew that, but Pansy knew nothing of _real_ evil. Evil that lay behind closed doors. 

Her parents doted on her, gave her everything she could possibly dream of, and treated her like a princess. They did not beat her senseless when she achieved a bad test mark, they did not call her all the names under the sun for failing to make Head Girl, and they did not deny her any physical signs of love and affection when she hurt and cried.

Pansy was beautiful, and great. She helped him forget about him at home... she brought sunshine when everyone was grey and bleak, she provided escape and optimism. But sometimes Draco needed more than that. He needed to talk about the grey and bleak things, the shadows that hid stealthily from the sun, the trapped reality he lived in, the pessimist in him which would always remain. 

__

Luna.

Draco shrugged the name from his mind in a desperate attempt to fall asleep... and, eventually, he did, only to dream about a frozen moon which called to him as he wept.

~*~

"Sleep well, darling?"

Draco grinned at Pansy and nodded – a lie. "Shall we?" he said, holding out his arm.

"We shall," she smiled back, her eyes awake and sparkling, the marks her pillow had made on her cheek still slightly visible, threading her arm through his and allowing him to lead her down to the Great Hall. Crabbe, Goyle and Millicent followed in their wake, as usual, grunting to each other like a load of baboons.

__

Thank Merlin for Draco, Pansy grimaced, listening to their primitive-type conversation.

When they reached the Great Hall, Pansy spotted Blaise from the entrance. 

"Blaise, darling!" she cried shrilly, letting go of Draco's hand and waving. "Draco, come on," she said, grabbing his arm and pulling him through the throngs of hungry, bleary-eyed students so they could get seats where she wanted.

The Great Hall had the four House tables lined up side by side, reasonably close to one another, so if you sat on one side of Slytherin, the person sitting facing your direction on Ravenclaw really wasn't that far away, seeing as they were the neighbouring House table. It was with great shock that Draco realised that sitting opposite him was her – Loony Luna Lovegood. He knew he was gawping - she hadn't seen him yet, she was too busy staring at that ridiculous magazine her father owned, the _Quibbler_, to notice him. She seemed to have some sort of vegetable hanging from her ears, and a chain of butterbeer corks hung round her neck. He cringed... to think that he'd been _conversing_ with this person last night.

"Are you alright, darling?" Pansy said, waving her hand back and forth in front of Draco's eyes. He swotted it away playfully.

"Course, Pansy," he said cheerfully, ripping his eyes away from Luna, and wrapping an arm around Pansy's shoulders, giving her a tight squeeze and kissing her cheek quickly. "You worry too much."

Pansy smirked and rolled her eyes, continuing her conversation with Blaise, leaving Draco to eat the cereal that had appeared in his bowl which tasted oddly like cardboard, and concentrate with all his might not to let his eyes stray back to Ravenclaw.


	3. Chapter Three

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Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

****

Chapter Three

He went back to the Tower that night. He had no need too – for once he felt oddly content, but still couldn't help thinking about that girl... 

His feet felt like lead as he climbed, half desperately hoping she wouldn't be there so he could settle with an explanation that she obviously didn't want to see him again, half begging the Gods above that she _would_ be there, so he could see those silvery eyes again... those stupid earrings, that stupid necklace, that stupid _girl_.

"I thought you'd come again."

Draco's blood turned to ice in his veins – he hadn't even rounded the corner and she had sensed him approaching.

"That's probably because it's _my_ place," he said defensively, hoping frantically that she hadn't heard the quiver in his voice. She laughed.

"Well, come round the corner then!"

He did as he was told – he wasn't sure why.

She was in her blue dressing gown again. Her hair looked neater than it had done yesterday, it framed her face as the moonlight bounced off it and reflected into her orb-like eyes. She was wearing the earrings again, he noticed.

"What _are_ those things hanging off your ears?" he said, mustering as much of a sneer into his facial expression as he could.

"Oh, these?" Luna reached up and touched them nervously, smiling a little. "They're my radish earrings. My favourites."

Draco's eyebrow slowly arched – "you wear vegetables hanging from your ears?" he said scathingly.

"Well... yes," Luna shrugged. "My Aunt Mabel tried to eat them once. I have to remember not to wear them to family gatherings... although she _is_ a little insane."

Draco snorted softly. "Not one to talk," he said, alarmed at the jokey tone that seemed to have entered his voice. To his surprise, Luna grinned at him, and covered her mouth to suppress a laugh. "It's a tragedy," he continued sarcastically, "the amount of radish earring-related aunt attacks there are these days."

"Quite," she nodded, her expression serious again. "We should start a campaign."

"Mmm," Draco said, twirling his ring round his finger through force of habit, "we could have leaflets and badges..."

"And headquarters in London."

"With our organisation name in neon lights."

"I can see it now..."

Draco couldn't help it. Luna looked as if she was biting the sides of her cheeks to contain her laughter, and when she finally burst out, he did too. They laughed for what seemed like forever, although was only a few seconds, and the echoes bounced off the stone walls when they stopped. The silence grew awkward once more, and Draco's head buzzed with a million things he could say, all which sounded feeble and weak... and why was he bothered anyway? It was just some stupid sixth year.

"I'm sorry about the other night," Luna finally said, pulling anxiously at a strand of hair. "I... I don't know, maybe I should never had said anything to you, but I just –"

"No," Draco shook his head. "No, I'm glad you did – if only because I... I deserved to know."

"Yeah," Luna flushed as she scuffed her toe on the ground awkwardly. "Sorry."

Draco shrugged. "Not much I can do now, is there?"

She looked up at him, her eyes huge and sorrowful. "I – I meant what I said though," she whispered. "I understand."

He nodded, feeling numbness spread through his entire body. It settled in an uncomfortable tingling in his fingers and toes, and he walked forward a pace if only to try and relieve it.

They were only a metre or so apart now. If he reached out a hand, he'd be able to touch her porcelain skin...

"Yeah, thanks," he muttered in feeble response to her offer. "I... I've..." he stopped, realising what he was doing, what he was saying. He was Draco Malfoy, this silly little girl wasn't even worthy of his time, let alone his trust.

"I know it's hard."

Once hoarse whisper from the silly little girl made everything he had just vowed fall in rubble around him. He looked into her eyes – _really _looked into her eyes, into the endless wells that were full of feeling and emotion... what emotion, he couldn't see, he couldn't figure out.

When he felt skin come into contact with his fingertips he jumped about six feet in the air before sharply jerking his hand away. He hadn't even noticed his hand go towards her face, and yet he could still feel the electricity run down his arm, could see her looking flushed, clutching her cheek as though she had just been burned.

It scared him. This girl who he barely knew made him loose control of his own body. His fingertips still seared with heat, and he felt disorientated and heady.

"I – I've got to go," he choked, stumbling down the Tower stairs in a blind panic, his heart beating so hard against his chest he thought his ribcage would explode. Why was he feeling like this? She was a lunatic, she didn't know what she was talking about... of course she didn't understand, why would she? But for once in his entire life, something was telling Draco that he was desperately, desperately wrong.

~*~

He didn't go to the Tower for a couple of days. He was scared – more scared than he had ever been in his entire life – but this was a different type of fear. It wasn't the fear that lingered before an exam, that settled uneasily before a Quidditch match, that suffocated him as he awaited a visit from his father. It was a fear that was combined with excitement, uneasiness, wonder... fear that made him wonder what it was about that sixth year Ravenclaw that made him think outside his mind, that made him want and need after spending a mere ten minutes in her presence.

She wasn't even anything special to look at. Draco had never believed in the more poncy branches of magic that talked about aurours and spirits, but he was starting to believe maybe he was wrong for scorning them, because Luna Lovegood had a beautiful auora. Something shone around her making her special, making her dirty blonde hair shine like an angels', making her huge, surprised looking eyes look like exquisite orbs of moonlight, making her whole being glow... something about her told Draco he _could_ trust her. That he _should_ trust her.

So, on the third day, he returned, half-knowing that he would find her there, in the same blue nightdress, with the same awkward look upon her face.

"You came," she said, the first time he'd ever seen her smile properly – a full smile, which crinkled the corners of her eyes and revealed perfectly straight, white teeth.

"It appears so," Draco smiled back weakly, his heart hammering away as usual.

"I didn't think... I mean, after the other night..." she pulled at her hair again, chewing her lower lip and fidgiting uncomfortably.

"The other night..." Draco began, pausing because he realised he had no idea what he was about to say, and was simply desperate to reassure her in some way. He finished by shrugging helplessly, feeling a red hot blush creep up his neck as Luna laughed at him a little.

"Tell me about your parents."

Draco blinked a couple of times, taken aback by her sudden questioning.

"Sorry?!"

"Your parents... tell me about them." Luna stepped aside to reveal a couple of large scatter pillows on the stone cold floor. "I thought we could use these..."

Forcing his legs which felt like they had suddenly turned to lead to walk over to the pillows, he sat down numbly, crossing his legs and watching Luna do the same thing. Her knee was about a centimetre from his, her hands folded in her lap.

"They've always been very busy," he began shakily, not even thinking about whether or not he wanted to do this, just forcing the words out of his mouth. "Father's a Death Eater, which I'm sure you knew from fifth year, your fourth, when he was put into Azkaban. Of course, that didn't last long... he's got too many contacts to be in trouble for long. He's a powerful man, he can twist many people around his little finger, and if not... he uses threats. He – he's always been like it with me, too – I grew up with threats being made about every little thing, petty things, too – and he'd usually carry them through even if I was obedient. They would always be threats of violence – I don't think I can remember what the normal colour of my ribs are... that's what he always goes for, because they're easy to hide."

He broke off to catch his breath, surprising himself at the ease in which the words were flowing from his mouth, how quickly he was confessing everything.

"I could probably count on one hand the number of things my mother has ever said to me. She's always just let my father take charge of me, not wanting to get involved incase he strikes out at her. She's a coward... but she's also very scared of him. They had an arranged marriage... I don't think she's ever loved him, and I don't know if he's ever loved her. He doesn't know what love is. He's never been able to show it to me, to her... They stay together for appearances sake. He's obsessed with appearances. Every year he'll give me stacks of birthday and Christmas presents, gifts from home, the latest flying equipment, oodles of money – more than I'd ever need – for Hogsmeade weekends, all because it's a good reflection on him. It makes _him_ look good if his son looks well cared for, spoilt... it shows that he has the money, too. And he does have money. Lots of it."

He looked almost guiltily at Luna – had he said too much, too soon? Was this what she was expecting? Or was she going to freak out, like Pansy, and run from him?

Instead, Luna smiled at him, encouragingly. Like she... understood. She laid one hand over his, and he quivered as bolts of lightning shot up his arm and settled in his abdomen area, forcing him to swallow hard to focus on what he was saying.

"And he's a drinker. The times he'll come home from wherever he's been drinking are the worst... the first thing he'll do is come up to my room, he'll find some reason to hit me. He'll hit me so hard I can hardly breathe, sometimes I actually think I'm going to die, that he's going to kill me. And sometimes I feel like I'd rather die than go through that pain – it hurts so much you can't think straight, you can't – "

Draco broke off when his voice cracked, and his eyes stung with tears. He didn't even bother to hide the them. 

"Sorry," he whispered, glancing sideways at Luna.

"No," she said, her eyes widening, shaking her head. "No, you mustn't be sorry. You – You've done so well, telling me... I didn't think in a million years that you'd... you know..."

Draco attempted a feeble smile. "Yeah."

Luna's eyes looked wide and almost fearful and she removed her hand from resting on his, and brought it up to his face, touching the tears coursing down his cheeks. She went to remove her hand quickly, but Draco lifted his own and curled his fingers around hers, holding her hand where it was. The same familiar tingling swept through his hand and cheek, causing Draco to close his eyes briefly. What was he _doing_ here with a girl he barely knew, telling her things he had never told anyone, not even Pansy? But something told him it didn't matter. It felt right – nothing had ever felt like this before, so natural, so needless of reasoning and rationale, so automatic, so... _real_.

Their hands fell together, this time Draco's covering hers, onto his lap. The sensation of her hand on his thigh, even over his trousers, was enough to make Draco feel dizzy and disorientated.

"No wonder you hate Hermione Granger so much," Luna whispered musingly, using her free hand to tug on her hair again.

"Yeah," Draco laughed bitterly. "That girl's earnt me more broken bones than anything else put together. My father isn't best impressed when I get beaten by a Mudblood in every single test."

Luna laughed softly, and quickly glanced down at her wrist.

"We've been up here ages..." she began awkwardly. "We should –"

"Yeah." Draco cut her off quickly and got to his feet, her hand brushing across his leg as he did so, momentarily numbing his entire body as the thrill shot through his body. 

"Thank you, Draco."

"What for?"

"Talking."

Draco shrugged, and stared at his feet, not really knowing what he was supposed to do or say next.

"Thank you for listening," he managed eventually. Luna put her hand on his arm again, squeezed slightly, and slipped out of the Tower. Draco looked up just in time to see her pale blue dressing gown disappear round the corner.

He stood there for a few minutes, his hands in his pockets and his head cast down, thinking. Then he realised – he couldn't. There was nothing to think about. He was Draco Malfoy, Ice King, bastard of the century, spiteful, spoilt little brat who got his kicks from taunting Muggle-borns and half-bloods, and he was having these ridiculous feelings for a girl he had met twice – _twice – _and was ridiculed for being the sixth year lunatic. 

It was crazy, it was insane and it didn't make sense... and that was why he trusted it.


	4. Chapter Four

__

Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

****

Chapter Four

"You're never around lately, Draco," Pansy pouted as they strolled to the library together. "Why not?"

"I've..." Draco shrugged helplessly, slipping his hand into hers. "I don't know. I've just wanted time to myself, that's all," he lied. It was hard lying to Pansy – he always felt as though she knew exactly what he was really thinking.

"You can have time to yourself with me around," she bleated, squeezing on his hand a little harder than necessary.

Draco sighed and stopped in his tracks, pulling Pansy over to the side of the corridor, putting a hand on either one of her shoulders.

"Pansy, you have to stop being so paranoid. I know... I know you get worried about us. You have all these crazy thoughts about me deserting you when I find a girlfriend –"

"- Draco –" Pansy interrupted, but Draco clamped a hand over her mouth.

"Listen. I'm not going to leave you. I love you, Pansy, however much hard work you are, and I'm not going to suddenly go gallivanting off with some other girl and never talk to you again, okay?"

"I'm not hard work," was all Pansy could mutter stroppily. Draco laughed, and saw the familiar twinkle in her eye that let him know everything was okay.

"You are!" he said teasingly, wrapping his arms around her and holding her tightly despite her making no effort to hug him back. "You're going to be fine, though."

He planted a kiss on her forehead and tousled Pansy's hair, much to her objection, and they walked off hand in hand to the library – it was only out of the corner of his eye that Draco saw the willowy blonde-haired Ravenclaw standing in the corner. He turned his head and tried to give her a subtle smile, but she simply fixed Draco with a blank look, turned, and walked purposefully away in the opposite direction.

~*~

She wasn't in the Tower that night, or the night after next. It was only the night after that when Draco climbed the stairs once more, feeling positively disheartened, panicked incase the entire thing had been a joke, that his heart soared when he saw her perched on the windowsill.

He struggled to keep the joy at her presence from his face – "You're here," he said carefully. 

Luna nodded.

"Apparently so."

Her voice had lost that warmth... it sounded more formal and icy. Her words were an echo of the ones he had used on their second meeting, the same unsure, doubting words. Draco frowned, but pushed himself to remember that he didn't know this girl properly – her ways were still somewhat alien to him

.

"H-How are you?" he asked, after a few seconds of hesitation.

"Well. The _Quibbler_ sold record amounts of copies this week," she replied without looking at him.

"That's nice," Draco said weakly, trying to inject a certain amount of care into his voice, although he wasn't really sure why.

"And yourself?"

"I... Where have you been?" he blurted out, and immediately regretted it, clapping a hand stupidly over his mouth and blushing fiercely.

She looked up at him with those wide eyes, an expression of genuine surprise. "Sorry?"

"These last couple of days..." Draco mumbled. "I thought you came up here every night..."

Luna looked down at her hands hard for a few seconds before sighing heavily. "I do. I did. I don't know why I didn't come... I was scared, I suppose. I mean, you're Draco Malfoy..." she looked up at him fearfully. "Why are you... why didn't you tell me to just piss off the moment you found out about me?"

She had just asked the question Draco had been asking himself since that very day. He shoved his hands in his pockets and shrugged. "I don't know," he answered truthfully.

"Is Pansy Parkinson your girlfriend?"

Evidently, it was Draco's turn to be surprised. "Urm, no..." he said slowly, meeting Luna's eye. 

"You were with her, the other day..."

"Yeah, I remember, I saw you. Pansy is... Pansy's my best friend. There's nothing more to it than that – never will be. Dating her would just be weird," he grinned slightly – "I remember once when we were drunk and we got off with each other – it was like kissing my sister. We just laughed about it afterwards."

Luna's face cracked into a smile which caused Draco's breath to hitch in his throat. He quickly regained his composure, however, fixing his face into a neutral expression once more.

"Oh, okay. Because, I was just wondering, you know..."

"Yeah," Draco said quickly, wanting to leave the subject of why Luna was wondering whether or not he had a girlfriend. He never was one to confront situations like that – avoiding them was always best practise. "But we... we let people think that, you know, we're a couple. It just avoids awkward questions... and Pansy's the only decent girl in Slytherin anyway, the rest are all trolls."

"What questions?" Luna asked innocently, cocking her head to one side.

"Questions about us... we... oh Merlin..." Draco raked a hand through his hair anxiously, really not wanting to go through whole 'arranged marriage' situation yet again. Slytherin knew, because that was just what Pureblood families did – him and Pansy, Millicent and Crabbe, Daphne and Terry – but the rest of the school never found out, because the students simply never talked about it. None of them wanted to do it, but the traditions and beliefs that Purebloods should marry Purebloods amongst their parents led the students to be treated like a particularly excellent brand of race-horse.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry," Luna said hurriedly, noticing the grimace on Draco's face.

"No, no, it's okay..." He waved his wand in the direction of a telescope near one of the windows and muttered "_Sedile_," instantly transforming it into a dark green sofa. He sat, and beckoned Luna to sit with him.

"Certainly better than the scatter cushions I managed the other night," she laughed softly, and he laughed back dryly. "So, you were saying, about you and Pansy?"

"Yeah. In Slytherin we have... that is, the parents of all the old Pureblood families, like the Malfoys and the Parkinsons and the Greengrasses – "

"Yes, I know all the old Pureblood families – I am one of them," Luna interrupted, grinning a little. Draco cheeks turned a little pink –

"Sorry. 'Course you are... anyway, if they have children the same age and different sex, they usually have an agreement with another Pureblood family – decided sometimes before they are even born – that they will... that their children will..."

"You have an arranged marriage?" Luna said, her jaw dropping in shock. Draco shrugged helplessly. "I didn't know they still did that!"

"Well, yeah. They do. With Pansy. And trying to explain to Slytherins that you have an arranged marriage with someone that you refuse to accept, who you _know_ you can't love, is like trying to explain Arithmancy to a brick wall. They all just accept their arranged marriages like obedient lap dogs or something. Thick, the lot of them, except Pansy and I of course. They don't understand the concept of rebelling... must be all that inter-breeding."

Luna smiled slightly at his joke, although still looked slightly dazed.

"Luna..."

"Hmm?" she turned her head towards Draco, perking up a little.

"I told you all that crap about my parents the other night... I babbled on for much too long, and now I – I want to hear about you. About your parents. If, you know, if that's okay..."

Luna swallowed hard and tucked her hair behind her ears. "Okay," she began shakily, folding her arms in her lap and taking a deep breath. "My mother is dead."

Draco swallowed, hard. He opened his mouth to say something, feeling like he should, but couldn't find the words.

"It's okay. She died when I was nine... but I was there. I mean, I saw it all... a spell she was doing backfired, and she just fell to the floor..." Luna furiously blinked tears from her eyes and tugged on her hair. "I didn't realise she was dead at first. I didn't realise magic could do anything so... powerful, awful. I was young. And when I realised I –"

Luna's voice was wobbling dangerously and tears started to flow faster down her cheeks. Draco bit down on his lip, and wrapped his arms around her the way he had done with Pansy the millions of times she had cried to him. But this felt different – this wasn't Pansy. This was Luna Lovegood, and the feeling of her body pressed into his was enough to quicken his heart rate drastically – so much so that he grew anxious that she could hear it thumping wildly against his chest.

"My dad has always blamed me for it," she whispered into him, muffled by the material of his jumper. "He thinks there's something I could've done to save her... he didn't get home for hours after she died, and he found me just curled up next to her, crying onto her body. Hours I laid there, hoping for something to bring her to life again, hoping she was just asleep, but part of me knew, part of me knew the whole time –"

Luna couldn't continue. She took several deep breaths, and dug her fingernails into her palms. Draco understood. He laid his cheek against her sweet, clean smelling hair, and said nothing. He almost felt guilty for making such a big deal of his parents the other night... at least had never been a witness to one of their deaths.

"I-I'm so sorry," she said eventually, pulling away from him and grinding tears from her eyes with her fists.

"It's okay," Draco reached up and stroked her long hair, his thumb brushing her cheek. "It's okay. You have every right to cry, it must have been... horrendous." 

Luna nodded silently, and then laughed. Draco gave her a bemused look – "what's funny?"

"Us," she smiled, placing her head back down on Draco's chest. "Sitting up here, moaning to each other about the woes of our lives... cheery pair, aren't we?"

He grinned. She looked up at him and gave him a teary smile. His eyes were pulled towards her lips, which were slightly parted, almost screaming to be kissed. He swallowed hard in an attempt to control his screaming desire to kiss her, and Luna looked away awkwardly.

"I guess we should go now," Luna whispered hoarsely, eyes not moving from her lap. Draco nodded numbly, inside screaming for her to stay – there was so much more wanted to tell her, so much more he wanted to know about her...

"Yeah."

"I guess – I guess I'll see you... soon?"

"See you soon."

She quickly leant in and brushed Draco's cheek with her lips before fleeing the Tower. He reached up his hand and touched it – it burnt beneath his fingers and his hand shook slightly... _this is crazy. How can she be doing this to me? She's just a sixth year!_

Draco rested his head in his hands wearily, trying to slow down the turmoil of thoughts whirring through his head. Most of him wanted nothing more than to give in to his unexplainable feelings, not care about the fact that she wasn't in Slytherin and she didn't have a high social status and she was a sixth year, wanted to tell her everything he'd wanted to tell for years, open up his soul for her, let her have him – all of him, the real him, but a part of him was weary. Whatever they had, it was crazy. He'd only met with her a handful of times, and these feelings he had for her... they were probably just a stupid, random crush... weren't they?


	5. Chapter Five

__

Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

****

Chapter Five

"My gorgeous Pans." Draco dropped a kiss on Pansy's cheek and sidled up next to her in the common room. "What are you still doing up?"

"Darling," she grinned at him. "Couldn't sleep. Went downstairs and got the house elves to get me some warm milk..." she gestured a perfectly manicured hand towards the mug that lay on the table in front of them. "You?"

"Actually," Draco hesitated. "I wanted to talk to you about that. I've... I've been talking to someone. Just recently. And, tonight, we... well, we sort of, I don't know... but I think we might..."

"Oh, spit it out!" Pansy teased, poking him in the ribs. "Who is this person you've been talking too?"

"That's what I'm worried about telling you," Draco blushed, taking hold of her hand and studying her nail polish. "You've got a tiny chip on your forefinger." Snatching her hand out of his grasp, Pansy demanded – 

"Draco Malfoy, you tell me right this instant. You _know_ you can tell me anything – I'm disappointed you didn't tell me sooner!"

"Okay, okay," he laughed, but was careful to avoid eye contact with her. "She's – "

"It's a 'she'? Do you like her? Are you going out?"

"Pansy, please, just... you said you'd listen. I want to explain it."

"Sorry," she said quickly . "Go on."

"She's the last person you would expect. I go up to the Astronomy Tower at night sometimes... well, quite often actually, and she's up there. And I tell her things... well, I've only spoken to her a couple of times but..." Draco shrugged. "I think... I think I like her, Pansy."

A flicker of emotion passed over Pansy's face briefly. "Well, that's all fine and lovely, but who is she? Is she Slytherin?"

"No."

"Oh Merlin, Draco, please tell me it's not a Gryffindor!"

"It's not a Gryffindor," he laughed, punching Pansy playfully on the shoulder. "Please! I have better taste than that!"

"Okay," she grinned. "Ravenclaw?"

Draco nodded, trying to stop the smile that was tugging in the corner of his mouth. She'd _never_ be able to guess.

"Right. A Ravenclaw... Padma Patil?"

"Nope."

"Cho Chang? No, wait, she left last year... um... oh, I give up. Tell me."

Draco looked down at his hands. "Luna Lovegood."

Five seconds passed – although it felt like an age – and Pansy had said nothing.

"Luna?" she finally choked – Draco looked up, her eyes were bulging and her hand fluttered up to her throat like it always did when she was anxious.

"Yeah."

"Loony Lovegood? Loony fucking Luna? The sixth year freak with possibly the most horrendous jewellery in history?"

Draco recoiled like he'd just been slapped. That stung. "Hey," he said angrily. "When have you ever spoken to her, Pansy? When have you ever taken the time to get to know her so you can make those judgements?"

"Draco! Do you know who her _father_ is?" Pansy said, throwing her hands up in exasperation.

"Do you know who _my_ father is, Pansy? He's a fucking alcoholic who gets his kicks out of beating the shit out of his family! If you judge people on who their _father_ is then you shouldn't be friends with me."

"But he's the editor of the _Quibbler_ for Merlin's sake!"

"AND MINE'S A DEATH EATER! WHICH IS WORSE?"

Pansy clamped her mouth shut and her eyes filled with tears. Blinking them away angrily and folding her arms, she stood up.

"This isn't the Draco I always knew," she whispered furiously. "The Draco I knew wouldn't touch some stupid sixth grader with a six foot pole."

"Pansy, why can't you see how narrow minded and pathetic that attitude is?" Draco sighed, putting his head in his hands.

"Because that's what we are Draco! We're _supposed_ to take the piss out of those less fortunate, hate Muggle-borns, tease Gryffindors... it's who we _are_! It's who you and I have always been!"

"Yeah? Well maybe I don't like who I've always been."

"How can you say that?" Pansy's eyebrows were knitted in genuine confusion and she shook her head in disbelief. Draco looked at her and laughed.

"Pansy... look, never mind. Just keep this to yourself, alright?"

Pansy shot him one more dagger-fuelled look at stormed up the stairs of the girls'dormitory. Draco sighed wearily – this was a classical example of the side of Pansy he hated. She had such little perspective – her parents told her what views and opinions she should have, and she just accepted it. Draco wasn't like that. He wouldn't accept the fact that he had a stereotype to fill and he should fill it. And he never would.

~*~

"I told Pansy."

"Told Pansy what?"

"About... that you're... well, that we..."

"Oh. I see. And?"

"She went mad."

"Oh. Why?"

Draco sighed and sat down on the stone cold floor, too drained of energy to transfigure anything. Luna joined him, pulling her knees up to her chest and resting her head on them.

"Pansy is a model Pureblood Slytherin. A model daughter. She was raised with the attitude that anyone different to herself and others of her status isn't worth it... and sometimes I think she really believes it, other times she says and does things that makes me think again. She's not stupid – I mean, her grades don't say much because she's lazy, she knows she'll always have enough money to never have to work, but she's very intelligent in other ways. She's actually a very private person underneath it all... I don't know whether she meant what she said last night, but she was basically just annoyed because... well, because..."

"I'm Loony Luna Lovegood?" Luna smiled and laughed a little.

"Basically," Draco winced. "I know that makes her sound awful, but she's not, she's very loving and kind and caring really, she's just... she accepts the things she's been told to believe and acts upon them. Even if she thought it was fine that I... that we, you know..." Draco blushed scarlet – what exactly _were_ they?

"Yeah," Luna said quickly, seeing his embarrassment.

"... then she still would've told me it wasn't, because she accepts things... she is who her parents and society want her to be."

Luna nodded. "I guess I can understand that," she said slowly. "What are you going to do about it?"

"I don't know," Draco said honestly. "She'll come round. She always does. She has an awful temper, but we're always all right in the end." He bit his lip and hung his head. "I just hope she doesn't feel as strongly about this as she made out."

"And if she does?"

Then what? He didn't know. Pansy was his best friend, he couldn't imagine living without her and having to rely upon the infrequent grunting of Crabbe and Goyle to keep him sane. He couldn't imagine not sitting with her at meal times, not having long conversations every night about what they'd done that day, not having her run to him excitedly whenever she'd received a new set of robes or some new jewellery to show off, not making wild plans with each other about their future and what they were hoped to do with their lives, their aspirations and dreams... He took a deep breath, and whispered – 

"If she does then..."

Something made him look up at Luna – he was almost taken aback by her expression. A small frown knitted her brows together, she was biting her lip anxiously and her expression was almost one of hurt... she cared. This girl really cared about whether or not they could be together... and so did he. _What am I doing? Pansy'll come round, I know she will... I can't throw this away..._

"If she does then I'll just have to change her mind," he said confidently, smiling at Luna and brushing a rouge strand of hair from her eyes, letting his fingers linger on her face for a second longer than necessary. Her face broke into a smile and she took hold of his hand and brought it down in front of her, blushing slightly and not really knowing what to do next.

Draco didn't give her long to contemplate that problem. He entwined his fingers through hers and pulled her towards him with a sharp tug.

"Hey!" Luna laughed, falling towards him, her face coming heart-stoppingly close to his. He grinned down at her – she was a good few inches shorter than him – and brought her hand up to his mouth, pressing his lips gently against her knuckles, his eyes never leaving hers. 

"What did you do today?" he whispered, not letting go of her hand.

"Not much," she smiled, shrugging, and looked away. "Got hassled by Zabini again, but hey, that's nothing new."

The hairs on the back of Draco's neck bristled. "What?" he shot, eyes narrowing.

"Zabini..." Luna said slowly. "I... I seem to be a favourite target of his. I assumed you knew, being in his House and everything."

"No, I didn't know," Draco said quietly. "What does he do?"

Luna shrugged again. "Takes the piss. I think he was the founder of my pet name actually... Loony Lovegood. Goes on about my mum a lot."

"What does he say about your mum?" Draco said weakly, his stomach tying itself into knots.

"That she was probably just as freaky as me..." Luna stared at the ground, squeezing her eyes shut, praying she wouldn't cry again. "That she deserved to die, that my family is a disgrace to the Pureblood reputation and the fewer of us the better."

Draco's mouth hung open in shock. He knew Zabini was an evil bastard, but even _he_ hadn't stooped that low with _Potter_... he didn't think. He felt his blood boiling and a strong surge of protectiveness rush through him.

"That fucker," he cursed, dropping Luna's hand and turning around so his back was to her. "That son of a – "

"No, Draco, please, it's okay." Luna put her hand on Draco's shoulder and pulled on it a little to try to get him to turn around.

"No, it's not okay," Draco growled, facing her again. "I'm going to fucking kill him."

"No, _no_!" Luna shook her head furiously. "I don't want you getting in trouble! Look, I'm used to it. I get it all the time, day in day out, and worse. I didn't need your protection then, and I don't need it now," she paused for a breath, looking Draco straight in the eye. "Please. I appreciate it and everything, but promise me you won't say anything to him?"

"I promise," Draco said through gritted teeth. 

His fingers were crossed behind his back.

"Okay," she smiled a little. "So, um, what did _you_ do today?"

"Not much," Draco said, still irked by what Luna had told him. "Studied. Lessons..." he caught her eye and looked away again quickly, softening up a little. "Thought about you a bit."

"Oh?" Luna said, a coy smile spreading across her face. She took a step towards him so they were barely touching. "What did you think?"

"Everything," Draco murmured, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her towards him, the impact of her groin pressing against his sending a delicious thrill all over his body.

"Like what?" she whispered back, her face so near to his he could feel her breath on his face.

"About how beautiful you are," he said throatily, wanting so much to kiss her that it hurt.

"Hmm.…" she smiled softly, and turned her head sideways. Ever so gently, she pressed her lips onto his neck. The skin underneath her touch quivered and a violent shiver shot up his spine causing him to close his eyes briefly.

"Thank you," he said, but he could barely hear himself through the blood pulsating in his eardrums.

Luna looked up at him and smiled, running her hand tentatively up his back. Draco actually thought his entire body was about to convulse underneath her gentle hands... he'd never been touched in this way. The only meaningful human touch he'd experienced had been abusive hits, punches or kicks from his father, and the occasional hug from Pansy, but this was nothing like a hug. This was tender and soft and.… amazing.

He moved his face towards hers, heart beating so wildly he thought it was going to explode. She reciprocated his intention and his lips covered hers in an explosion of wonderful sensation that made his lips feel as if they were on fire. The entire world around him dissolved and time seemed to stand still as their mouths began to move in synch, slowly at first, then with more passion and urgency. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before – different to the awkward kisses with Pansy when they had been in just their early teens, different to the sloppy mouthed kisses he'd had with various Slytherin girls at common room parties... this was incredible. It was a _real kiss_. His hand slid up Luna's back and into her hair, he curled his fingers on the nape of her neck and felt her shiver slightly beneath his touch. His other hand lay on her waist, pulling her further into him, soon her entire body pressed against his, taking him to dizzying heights. His entire abdomen area throbbed and a small moan escaped him, causing Luna to break away. Her face was inches from his – he drank every detail in, from the shape of her parted, damp limps, to the tiny moon-shaped scar she had on her left cheek bone. She looked at him just as intensely, both breathing slightly harder than normal.

"I'm so glad I found you," he thought out loud, immediately realising what he'd said, blushing and looking away with a slight grin on his face.

"You're not too bad yourself," Luna grinned back, nuzzling into his neck and causing Draco to shiver compulsively. She smiled to herself and laid her head on his chest, wrapping her arms around his waist and squeezing him tightly.

"You trying to squeeze me to death now?" he teased, kissing the top of her head. He felt her laugh into him, her warm breath penetrating his thin shirt.

They stood like that, in the drafty Astronomy Tower, holding each other, for over an hour before they decided they should leave, although it passed quickly. It was possibly the best hour of Draco's life, he savoured every second, feeling the rise and fall of her chest, listening to her steady breathing. This was the touch of someone who wasn't going to beat him, wouldn't thump or kick him... this was human contact which wasn't violent or abusive or hurtful, and it was incredible. Every so often Luna would shiver a little, and Draco would ask her if she was too cold or needed to go back, but she never did.


	6. Chapter Six

__

Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

****

Chapter Six 

The next day, Draco, Pansy and Blaise sat in the library discussing their Potions assignment. Pansy still wasn't talking to him, and directed all comments meant to dig at Draco to no one in particular.

Draco's breath almost caught in his throat when he noticed Luna coming into the library. As Pansy and Zabini's backs were to her, she gave Draco a small smile and sat down at the next table. Zabini tutted and looked over, annoyed that someone has disrupted their quiet corner.

"Ah, look who it is! Loony Lovegood, and she's wearing her necklace of... crap!" he sneered.

Draco had to laugh at the irony of it – not once had he heard Zabini torment Luna, and now it mattered to him he did it right in front of his face. Pansy smirked a little, Draco was sure she did it just to wind him up. Gritting his teeth, he tried to ignore Zabini.

"You think it's a good look, Lovegood, to wear shit around your neck?"

Pansy laughed this time, and Draco felt a surge of hatred towards her. Flashing daggers her way which Pansy purposely ignored, he felt an hot, angry blush creep up his neck.

"I suppose that's something you got given to you by your insane mother – was her dress sense as good as yours, or was it even better?"

"Leave it Blaise," Draco muttered firmly, pressing down so hard with his quill that the nib bent. "Shit," he muttered angrily.

"What's gotton into you?" Blaise frowned. "You do realise who that is, right?"

"Yes," Draco said through gritted teeth.

"She's a fucking freak, Malfoy. Waste of good, pure blood – all her lot are. Well, her mother's dead of course – "

"I said _leave it_!"

Pansy shot him a dangerous look, and he daren't even look over at Luna.

"What's your problem, Malfoy?"

"You!"

"What the hell have I done?!"

"I asked you to leave it, and you refused."

"But it's _Loony Lovegood_! And I say to the obscene little idiot whatever I want!"

Draco clenched his fists and shot a look over at Luna. She was looking at him, eyes wide in fear, trying to communicate a silent message which he chose not to receive.

"_Shut. Up._" 

Blaise scowled angrily but knew better than to take an argument with Draco any further than this. He snapped shut his book and stood up so quickly his chair almost fell to floor, storming angrily out of the library.

"What do you think you're doing?" Pansy hissed angrily, starting to pack away her own things.

"Oh, shut up Pansy," Draco said bitterly, almost surprised at the aggression which had edged its way into his tone.

"I will not!" Pansy whispered angrily, tossing her hair angrily over her shoulder. "You're risking your entire reputation on some silly fling with a mentally unstable sixth year!"

"It's not a silly fling," Draco said, trying to control the anger in his voice.

"Oh, you're in _love_ are you?" Pansy said nastily, shooting a disgusted look in Luna's direction. Draco blushed furiously, all to aware that Luna was in earshot of every word.

"Look, Pansy, I told you because I thought you'd understand. I thought wrong. Please, just leave this alone. I don't want to fight with you."

"You leave me little choice," Pansy spat, shoving her books haphazardly in her bag.

"Why are doing this to us, Pansy?" Draco said, exasperated, scrubbing his face with his hands wearily.

"That's what I should be asking you!" Pansy said shrilly, raising her voice and slamming the pot of ink in her hand down so hard in shattered. "Shit!" she said angrily, picking up her bag and half running out of the library, holding her ink-stained hands in front her, in fear of staining her robes.

Luna immediately stood up and rushed over to help Draco clean up the ink, picking up the shards of glass that lay on the floor without saying a word. Footsteps approaching from round the corner made them both look up:

"Mr Malfoy! Miss Lovegood! Was that you two arguing just now?"

Madame Pince towered above them, her hands on her hips glaring at them accusingly, her mouth virtually falling open in horror when she saw the spilt ink.

"I – "

"No, Mr Malfoy, I'll have no arguments – _and_ you're a Prefect," she shook her head disapprovingly. "Detention. Both of you. This evening, 7 o'clock – and _don't_ be late."

~*~

Draco had never, in his seven years at Hogwarts, actually looked forward to a detention before. At ten to seven he stood in his dormitory making sure not a single hair was out of place, that there was nothing in his teeth, and that his appearance was impeccable.

Pansy had even given him an apology earlier – although she did make it all too clear that she was only apologising for not staying to clear up the ink, but it had nevertheless raised Draco's spirits somewhat.

At five minutes to, Draco pocketed his wand and made his way down to the library with a thumping heart. Upon entering, he saw Luna ahead of him, grinning and jerking her head towards Madame Pince who was wheeling a shelf stacked high with books towards her.

  
"Ah, Mr Malfoy, you've arrived," she said curtly when she saw Draco. "These books have all been returned by students and teachers and need shelving. I will be back at ten o'clock and expect you to have completed your task. Perhaps next time you're disrupting other students in the library you will think again."

As Madame Pince breezed past Draco, Luna stuck her tongue out and pulled a face behind her back causing Draco to stifle a laugh – it wasn't until the door slammed shut after her than he could laugh aloud.

"Honestly Miss Lovegood," he said in a high pitched tone, imitating Madame Pince, "that's no way to behave in a library!"

Luna grinned at him and absently picked up a book on the top of the pile. "We'd better get started," she said wearily, looking at its title and sighing. 

"Yeah," Draco said, wrinkling his nose in distaste at the stack of books. "Perhaps we should organise them into different subjects first, it'll probably be quicker."

  
Luna nodded in agreement, and they began the long task of sorting the books into separate piles. They worked in silence for a good five minutes before Luna broke it –

"Draco," she said questioningly, not looking at him.

"Hmm?" he said vaguely, trying to decide whether _Herbs and Plants for Basic Potion Making_ belonged in the Herbology or Potion section.

"Has Pansy said anything more to you about... well, about how she feels about us?"

He looked up at Luna and shook his head. "No. She's... I think she's angry at me, she thinks you're going to pose a risk to our friendship. I know that's not the reason she's giving, but that's what she thinks... she's always been like it." 

He sighed heavily and reached for another book at the same time as Luna – their hands brushed and a jolt of electricity shot up Draco's arm causing it to snap back quickly. Luna gave him an odd sort of smile, and took his hand in hers, resting it on top of the pile of books for the Transfiguration section. Draco held his arm there so long it began to ache, just looking at her, not really knowing what to say or do. Just looking into her mesmerising eyes was enough to keep him occupied for hours, thinking of nothing but her.

Eventually, Luna looked away, slightly embarrassed, and let go of his hand, gathering up a pile of books that belonged to the Potions section. "I'll take these," she said awkwardly, and disappeared into the maze of bookshelves.

Draco shook himself slightly, urging himself to get a grip, and continued sorting the books. _It's no use_, he thought to himself irritably, _how can I concentrate knowing she's just a few paces from me?_ Slightly irritated with himself for allowing Luna to have such a hold on him, he picked up _Herbs and Plants for Basic Potion Making_ from the Herbology pile and slipped stealthily towards the back of the library where the Potions books lived. His pulse livened when he caught sight of her – she her back to him and was apparently engrossed in one of the books she was meant to be shelving. He smiled to himself and tiptoed towards her – when he ended up so close behind her that he could smell her sweet, spicy aroma he stopped stupidly. He felt compelled to wrap his arms around her waist, bury his head in her hair, whisper to her how much he wanted her... with a buzz of adrenaline he stepped forward and enveloped her in a backwards embrace, holding his book out in front of her to show his intention. 

"I decided this belonged in the Potion section, too," he whispered softly into her ear, fighting the urge to plant kisses all over her slightly flushed, soft cheek. 

"Okay," she whispered back, closing the book she had previously been so rapt in and taking Draco's, placing them both on top of the nearest shelf.

Turning to face Draco, Luna grinned slightly. "And you just needed to come over here right at this second and tell me that?" she said playfully, reaching up and brushing his hair out of his eyes. He grinned back and turned his head to kiss her outstretched arm gently, and then her forehead. 

With small, content sigh, Luna pulled him into her and rested her head in his chest.

"This is the last thing I want to be doing when we're together," she whispered into him, her voice slightly muffled.

"Mmm," Draco murmured in agreement, stroking her hair lightly. She looked up at him and smiled, brushing her lips against his and breaking their embrace. 

"Come on," she whispered. "We need to get on with this."

"No," Draco whimpered, catching hold of her hand and pulling him into her again. "Please, stay..."

"But she'll be back soon, we won't have got anything done..."

"We've got ages," Draco moaned, wrapping his arms around her once more and running his hand up and down her back.

Luna didn't protest this time, but sagged her body against his slightly, listening to the gentle, reassuring thud of his heartbeat. A small crack behind them made them both jump –

"What was that?" Luna whispered quietly. They stayed still and quiet for the next couple of seconds.

"Probably just an escaped cat or something," Draco mumered in reassurance. He held her warm body in his arms tightly, kissing her head and moving his lips down to brush against her jaw and cheek, moving ever closer to her mouth. Luna turned her head and found his lips with hers, moving her hand up to the back of his neck and nestling it in his hairline. Draco got the familiar tingle up and down his spine that being close to Luna always gave him as they began to kiss. He leant heavily against the tall bookshelf, not trusting the ability of his legs to hold his weight when they were quivering like this, and put one hand either side of Luna's face, stroking her cheeks with his thumbs and pushing his fingers into her hair.

"Come on," Luna whispered hoarsely breaking their kiss, her breathing shallower than usual. "We have to do this."

Draco licked his lips and attempted to make his feet move.

"Come _on_," Luna said, more persistently, giving him a little shove towards the stack of books. "She'll be back soon."

Draco nodded numbly, returning to the books feeling decidedly disorientated.

__

How does she do this to me? He sat down shakily and shook himself. _Get a grip, Malfoy. You're getting worked up over a sixth year Ravenclaw, an _insane_ sixth year Ra – _but Draco had to stop that voice, because every time it spoke he felt like killing someone.


	7. Chapter Seven

__

Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

****

Chapter Seven

"I brought you a present, lovely."

Pansy was sitting on one of the common room sofas, and Draco approached her from behind and dropped a box into her lap. Hopping over the back, he settled himself next to her and grinned. 

"What's this for?" she said with narrowed eyes, picking up the box.

"To make you start talking to me again, Miss Stubborn," Draco teased, poking her in the ribs and pecking her cheek. "Open it."

Pansy didn't answer Draco, but untied the silver ribbon from the dark green box all the same. From the tissue paper inside, she found a beautiful pair of emerald studs – squealing in delight and putting them on the palm of her hand, she exclaimed – 

"Oh, _Draco_! They're _beautiful_!"

"I thought you'd like them," Draco said, attempting to sound nonchalant but grinning at Pansy's reaction.

Pansy threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek. "Thank you," she said, and held his gaze for a second before putting them on.

"They suit you," Draco offered, noting how well they went with her eyes, and putting his arm around here. "Now, missy, there'll be no more attitude from you," he said with an impish grin.

"Oh, hush," Pansy laughed, settling herself into his shoulder. "I'm sorry," she said after a minute. "You know how protective I am over us... I'm just so scared of losing you. I'm so scared you'll leave me with _Millicent_." She pulled a face and Draco laughed.

"Of _course_ you wouldn't lose me, lovely," he said, kissing the top of her head. "We've had this conversation a million times before – "

"What conversation?"

A cold, drawling voice sounded from behind them. Draco turned around – 

"Oh piss off, Zabini, I wasn't talking to you," Draco growled.

"No, apparently not," Blaise continued, sitting the other side of Pansy on the sofa anyway. "You know, Malfoy, if I didn't know better, I'd say you were turning into a right soft-hearted Hufflepuff. Defending Ravenclaw scum... can't get much lower than that, can you?"

"Blaise, please," Pansy whispered, putting her hand on Blaise's arm – but he didn't look at Pansy, instead keeping his steely glare fixed on Draco.

"Zabini," Draco began calmly. "Do you know how much more important I am than you? I wouldn't get on my wrong side _too_ badly, you know – "

"Or what?" Blaise interrupted quickly. "You'll set Pansy on me?"

Pansy withdrew her hand and scowled at Blaise. "That was unnecessary," she said frostily.

"This is nothing to do with you," Blaise shot back at her.

"Leave her alone," Draco sneered, taking hold of one of Pansy's hands for emphasise. Blaise let out a cold bark of laughter before his expression grew serious.

"Never order me around like that again, Draco."

"Fuck off."

"I mean it. Or I might just have to tell Madame Pince _exactly_ what you were doing during that detention."

Draco's entire body went cold and goosebumps covered every surface. He froze, not knowing what to do or say, and watched Blaise walk away, helpless.

"What did he mean, Draco?" Pansy said anxiously, taking hold of both his hands anxiously.

"Me and Luna had detention together," Draco said hoarsely, still staring at the point where Blaise had disappeared up to the boys' dormitory, "in the library, on our own, the other night..."

"Oh Merlin," Pansy exclaimed. "You didn't have _sex_ in there or anything, did you?"

"No!" Draco said, slightly shocked at Pansy's presumption and tearing his eyes away from the doorway. "No, you daft cow, we just, you know, we were kissing..." he blushed fiercely and ran a hand through his hair. "What if he tells my father?" he whispered, his voice full of fear, looking at Pansy desperately.

"I'll talk to him," Pansy said quickly. "I'll make sure he doesn't. Okay? Don't worry."

She put her arms around Draco and pulled him into her tightly, kissing the top of his head. But no amount of reassuring from Pansy was going to make Draco feel any better about this.

~*~

"Blaise," Pansy simpered in his ear during double Charms the next day. Blaise grunted, which Pansy took as a sign to continue. "You're not going to tell Draco's father about... him, are you... hmm?" She ran her forefinger up his arm lightly.

"What's it to you?" Blaise scowled, but didn't move his arm.

"Oh, come now, don't be like that," she continued quietly, keeping a wary eye on Professor Flitwick. 

"Like what, Pansy? This is none of your business."

"Well I'm making it my business. I don't want to see Draco hurt."

Blaise scoffed and shook his head. He turned to face her. "And what exactly would my incentive be _not_ to tell him?"

"What do you want it to be?" Pansy said flirtatiously, tossing her hair over her shoulders. A slow smile crept over Blaise's face.

"I wouldn't be like that, Miss Parkinson," he said silkily. "You have no idea what you're getting yourself into."

"Oh, come off it," Pansy said, leaning back in her seat and rolling her eyes. "I've known you since you were knee high, Blaise, you can't get away with that act in front of _me_."

Blaise let out a quiet growl. "Well I can say what I want, to whoever I want, and maybe it's time your precious Draco learnt that."

Pansy opened her mouth to object, but was interrupted by Professor Flitwick –

"I _will_ not have you gossiping during my class, Mr Zabini, Miss Parkinson!" he said shrilly.

"Sorry, Professor Flitwick," Pansy drawled, pouting innocently and fluttering her eyelashes. "It won't happen again..."

Despite the Gryffindors snickering at her on the row behind, Professor Flitwick turned quite pink and stuttered – "no, no, Miss Parkinson, I'm sure it won't, not to worry..."

Pansy gave the Gryffindors a smug smile, crossed her arms over her chest, and ignored Blaise for the rest of the lesson.

~*~

Draco broke their kiss after fighting the urge to tell Luna about Blaise all evening.

"That noise we heard in the library the other day in detention..."

"Hmm?"

"It wasn't a cat. It was Blaise Zabini."

Luna bit down on her lip hard and shut her eyes briefly. "Oh," she whispered. "That's bad, isn't it?"

"Yes," Draco answered gravely, "it's bad."

"What are you going to do?"

  
Draco shrugged. "Not much I can do. Pansy talked to him, but she didn't have much luck." Draco's brow knitted together in concern. "He's such a bastard," he muttered under his breath, absently smoothing over Luna's hair.

"I know," she whispered back, nudging his nose with hers. "But it'll be okay."

"Not if he tells my father it won't be." Draco gave a short, bitter laugh, and turned away from her.

"We'll just have to cross that bridge when we come to it – _if_ we come to it," Luna said quietly. Draco felt strangely reassured by those words – he liked the way that Luna had used 'we', it made him feel safe and secure – a feeling somewhat foreign to him. He nodded his response, turning round and wrapping his arms around her once more.

"We've been up here hours," Luna whispered after what felt like an age of silence.

"I know," Draco said, unwillingly releasing her small body. She looked up at him, her eyes wide and open.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she said hopefully. Draco nodded, and she gave him a last fleeting kiss before she ran down the Astronomy Tower steps, her footsteps resounding off the stone walls, taunting his ears. 

He sighed and pressed his forehead against the cool stone, closing his eyes and trying to make sense of the whirlpool of thoughts and anxieties that felt like they were suffocating him. _Maybe I'll just stay here for the rest of the night..._

~*~

Absently wondering where Pansy was, Draco floated back in the direction of the Slytherin common room in the hope of finding her there – he'd wanted to have lunch with her today, but she was nowhere to be seen. As he rounded the corner, he heard a girl crying – his head instantly snapping up to see where the sound was coming from.

"Please, _please_, g-g-give it b-b-back!"

"Make me."

"Th-th-that's the only one I h-h-have!"

"All the better to taunt you with, my dear."

The blood in Draco's veins turned to ice and the blood drained from his face when he saw Luna in the centre of a crowd of Slytherins, all laughing and jeering at her tear stained cheeks – being ring-led by Blaise Zabini. He was holding a photograph of a person Draco couldn't quite make out, waving it lazily in front of his face. Pansy was standing at the back of the crowd, the only Slytherin who didn't wear an expression of torturous glee. She saw Draco's expression and shrugged helplessly, shaking her head. 

"Give it back, Zabini," Draco said quietly, but nonetheless the entire corridor fell into a stunned hush. His hands balled into tight fists as he narrowed his eyes at Blaise.

"Oh, look, wittle Draco's come to defend his wittle girlfriend," Blaise taunted, as a wave of confused mumurs shot through the crowd.

"Don't be so fucking ridiculous," Draco spat, "just stop being such an immature idiot and give the girl her photograph." He couldn't even bring himself to look at Luna.

"No," Blaise said calmly. "What are you going to do to me if I don't?"

Draco automatically reached to pull out his wand at the same time as Zabini, but his was out of his pocket and pointed before Blaise's hand had even entered his robes.

"Draco –" Pansy called out in a meek yet warning tone, but Draco disregarded her with a wave of his hand.

"Not now, Pansy," he growled. "Now, Zabini, are you going to give the girl her photograph, or am I going to have to _force_ you to?"

Another confused mumble swept through the Slytherins, but Draco kept his steely gaze fixed on the boy in front of him.

"Now, now, Draco," Blaise said calmly. "There's no need to be like that. May I enquire as to why you care so much?"

Draco clenched his jaw in frustration and tightened his grip on his wand, causing a shower of green and silver sparks to shoot from the end. Blaise knew _exactly_ why he cared so much. "Because you're an idiot," he said through clenched teeth. "I detest _anything_ you do. Now give. It. Back."

Blaise turned his focus to Luna. "Only if you say please," he drawled, walking up to Luna and putting a finger under her chin, tilting her head up so her face was millimetres from his, their noses practically touching. Draco shook violently and felt his anger implode inside him – 

"_EXPELLIARMUS_!"

In the most overwhelming surge of power Draco had ever felt, Blaise's body was thrown against the nearest wall, his wand clattering to the ground, the picture lying uselessly next to his body. He wasn't out cold, but he was groggy, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head. A rush of adrenaline caused Draco's breathing to become shallower as he watched the concerned faces looking at Blaise, the confused faces looking at him. 

Luna dashed forwards and picked up the photo, shooting a half-fearful look at Draco and pushing her way through the crowd of Slytherins, who didn't make it easy for her, purposely knocking her shoulder and trying to trip her up as she went. It hurt Draco to watch it. His heart was racing, pounding in his ribcage so hard he was sure the rest of the room could hear it.

"Stupid bloody freak," a sixth year who Draco didn't recognise muttered. The rest of the Slytherins nodded their heads in agreement, and Draco felt another hot surge of anger towards the boy, and, for the first time in his life, his House. 

"20 POINTS FROM SLYTHERIN!" he roared at the sixth year, who jumped and took several paces back from Draco. There was a stunned silence, and one by one they began to shuffle away from him, towards the dungeons and the staircase.

Draco stood until every last student had disappeared save Blaise's rousing form, trying to control his breathing and his pounding heart. Most of them looked at him fearfully, like he was an escaped tiger ready to pounce on his next victim, virtually tip-toeing past him if they had to. Pansy caught his eye before disappearing up the staircase, giving him an unreadable but meaningful look, which he tried his very best to ignore. 

~*~

That night, Luna was already in the Tower when Draco got up there.

"You took points from Slytherin."

"I know I did." Draco raked a hand through his hair. "I've had nothing but grief about it all evening."

"Why did you do it, Draco?"

Neither made any advances towards the other, Draco remained in the doorway and Luna remained by the window.

"Why do you think?" he laughed bitterly. "Is it not obvious? I saw red, Luna... I got so _fucking_ annoyed when I saw that twat torturing you like that..."

"The picture was of my mother," Luna interjected quickly. "I had it in my hand when I was coming back from Potions. I always carry it around with me, but Merlin knows why I got it out in Slytherin territory," she gave a short laugh and looked Draco square in the face. "I don't usually cry in front of them. I've _never_ cried in front of them before. I've never cried in front of _anyone_ before, except you." She looked away and bit down on her lip. "I feel so stupid... like he broke me down."

A rush of sympathy coursed through Draco. "Don't feel stupid," he said, the gentleness of his tone surprising even him. "Zabini's just an arsehole, he's not worth it."

He stepped forward and placed his hand gently on Luna's shoulder, who surprised him by flinging her arms around him and burying her head in his shoulder.

"Thank you," she mumbled into him, and he smiled, bemused, reciprocating her embrace.

Just as Luna's head tilted up towards his, they heard footsteps coming up the stairs – _running_ up the stairs. Draco and Luna sprung apart, Luna's eyes wide with fear. Draco was frozen to the spot, unable to move, when he heard the intruder speak –

"Draco! DRACO!"

"It's only Pansy," he whispered to Luna with a sigh of relief. Pansy appeared in the doorway, panting heavily, her mascara smudged and running down her cheeks in black rivers where it had mingled with tears, her face deathly pale and a small trickle of blood running down from her forehead. She took one look at him and burst into tears.

"Oh, _Dra_co," she wailed, rushing forwards and almost knocking him over with force of her embrace.

"Hey," Draco said, concerned, prising her arms from around him and holding her by either shoulder, forcing her to look him in the eye. "What's the matter? What happened?"

"It's Blaise," she whispered, terrified. "He owled him... he owled your father. I tried to stop him, I really did, he came and found me – read out the letter, told him everything about you and Luna and you cursing him and taking points... he read the whole thing out to me, and I didn't know what to do, I couldn't do anything, I tried to find you but you weren't around, I followed him down to the Owlery and I tried to convince him not to send it, I tired I tried I _tried_, I managed to snatch it away from him but he shoved me and I fell and cut myself, I must've been out for a few minutes because I woke up outside the Owlery and he'd _gone_, Draco, and he sent the owl!"

Pansy said everything very quickly, and Draco felt his entire body grow numb and covered in goosebumps. There was an odd ringing in his ears as he tried to take in everything he'd just heard. Zabini had owled his father... and he'd hit Pansy.

"Shit," he muttered softly, letting go of Pansy and bowing his head, his arms dangling uselessly by his sides. The only sound that could be heard was Pansy's shallow breathing and the occasional hoot of the owls outside. 

"What are you going to do?" Pansy eventually whispered, looking at Draco wide-eyed and wringing her hands.

"Bastard," Draco replied as her answer, turning around to face the wall. He pounded the wall with his fist – "BASTARD!"

"Draco, please," Luna began gently, laying a hand on his back. Draco whirled around and she jumped back –

"No, Luna, not 'Draco, please', do you have _any_ idea what this means? No, you don't, because your father wouldn't _give _a fuck if he found out about us – my father is going to _kill_ me."

Luna's lip trembled slightly, but she held her head up high. "I was only trying to –"

"There's no point!" Draco hissed manically, his eyes glinting in the moonlight. "There's no point in _anything_ anymore – my life won't be worth _living_ once my father gets hold of that owl!" 

Luna looked down and blinked back tears, and a flicker of guilt passed through Draco. This wasn't Luna's fault, after all. He scowled and turned to face the wall.

"My father _would_ care," Luna said in a wobbly voice. "He just wouldn't try and control me like yours does!"

"Well lucky bloody you," Draco spat, rubbing his temples and putting one hand up to lean against the wall. He was only vaguely aware of Luna storming out of the Tower and Pansy putting a hand on her elbow, guiding him down the stairs. His ears were still ringing as he faintly heard Pansy whisper,

"What are you going to do, Draco?"

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I really don't know."


	8. Chapter Eight

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Disclaimer: All characters and places in the Harry Potter universe belong to J.K. Rowling – I own none of them, I simply play with them. 

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A/N: I decided to turn this chapter into a bit of a songfic written in first person perspective – the lyrics are 'Numb' by Linkin Park – not usually my band of choice, but the lyrics fit so perfectly to Draco's situation that I couldn't resist ^^ 

Big kisses to The Morning Starr, my newest beta reader – if you're a fan of Draco and haven't read her 'Draco Malfoy's Diary' archived at SugarQuill.net then there is something siriusly wrong with you. Go. Read. Now. (After reading this chapter of FM, of course :-D) 

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Chapter Eight

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I'm tired of being what you want me to be  
Feeling so faithless, lost under the surface   
_I don't know what you expected of me _  
_Put under the pressure of walking in your shoes_

I'm not like my Father. I think I've known this from a very young age. When I was small I used to watch him at balls and social functions – everyone adored him. The women would coo and flutter under his silky smooth words and compliments, and Mother always used to turn a blind eye as he seduced a whore or two to hook up with when she was next out of town. I used to wonder why they liked him, when I was very little. I didn't understand – I'd seen him at home with me and my Mother, I knew what he was like, and then to see him put on this mask when we were in front of other people... I soon learnt, though. I learnt about the two sides to my Father's personality. I learnt about it, and I learnt from it. It's impossible to behave the way my Father expects me to without putting on some kind of mask – just like him. Except, my mask is different.

My Father's mask is one of charm and grace. Mine is one of hate and spite. Our cores are different, but he won't see that, he won't _ever_ see that – I'm tired of being what he wants me to be.

__

Every step that I take is another mistake to you   
I've become so numb   
I can feel you there   
_I've become so tired   
So much more aware _  
_I'm becoming this, all I want to do _  
_Is be more like me and be less like you _

He won't let me be myself. _I _won't let me be myself. Sometimes I scorn myself for being so weak as to let him walk all over me, dictate everything I need to do, say, feel. There's always that knowledge, though, that settles at the bottom of my stomach like a rock, that I have no choice in the matter. I've had to make myself numb to his commands – it's the only way I can get through this. And the worst part? I don't know when it'll ever end. _If_ it'll ever end. I'm scared about what would happen to me if I ever disobeyed him. Sometimes, especially when I was younger, I think he's going to kill me when he gets violent. Especially when he's been drinking. I lay there, shivering, tensing for the next blow, and the pain is so intense I actually think I'm going to die. Walking towards Snape's office, preparing for my punishment, I contemplate the extent of the damage which is about to be done. It's happened before, countless number of times, but this time I feel a fear so intense that my palms are sweating, my knees are trembling, and I can't focus properly – my vision is blurry, but I've done the walk from my dorm to Snape's office enough times that I don't need perfect vision to get there. I've never done anything this bad before. The people you mix with are so, _so_ important to him, and I've just gone ahead and started seeing a Lovegood. Father can't stand the _Quibbler_, let alone her crackpot of a father.

As I enter the room, Snape immediately stands up and leaves, without even meeting my gaze. I'm not sure if this is a good or a bad thing. I hold my breath and stare at the floor, waiting for my father to speak first.

"Draco."

"Good evening, Father."

He's been drinking. I know from the smell in the room and the empty Firewhisky glasses on Snape's desk.

"Do you know why you're here, Draco?"

Do I lie or tell the truth? A fleeting thought that I could just deny the whole thing rushes through my head, but that'd probably just anger him more – my father is many things, but stupid is not one of them.

"I'm not sure," I eventually stutter.

"You are here, boy, because once again you have disappointed me."

And there's the magic, all-too-familiar words.

__

Can't you see that you're smothering me?   
_Holding too tightly, afraid to loose control _  
_Cos everything that you thought I would be _  
_Has fallen apart right in front of you _

I don't know what to say, so I say nothing. I feel stupid now, and belittled. He always manages to do that to me. I can feel a hot blush rising up from my neck and settling uncomfortably on my cheeks.

"I received a very interesting owl last night," he went on, pronouncing each and every syllable with a forced tone of calm. "It had details of your latest love interest."

I still remain silent, so scared of saying the wrong thing. My heart is racing now, and I can only just hear him speak over the pounding of blood in my ears.

"Is Miss Parkinson not good enough for you anymore, Draco? Is your parents choice for you now second best?"

"No, it's not that – " I begin, but he silences me with a backhanded slap across my face. I'm stunned slightly because I wasn't expecting it at that second, but I quickly recover and vow not to say another word.

"Pansy Parkinson is _ideal_ for you, Draco. She is wealthy, beautiful, and her parents second in their ranking on the social ladder only to us. If Theo Parkinson finds out that you've been taking his daughter for a ride then he will cancel your arranged marriage and no one will take you, Draco. You will be disowned from the Malfoy name, and you'll have to spend your time working like a common Muggle to earn your living, and no one else will want you. You're very lucky Pansy's parents have agreed to let their daughter marry an imbecile like you."

"I haven't been taking Pansy for a ride," I snarl, not able to help myself, not wanting to be accused of cheating Pansy.

"And what do you mean by that?" Father's face is close to mine now – so close I can smell the alcohol on his breath and see the tiny bloodshot veins in his eyes. I look him square in the face.

"Pansy doesn't want this arranged marriage anymore than I do."

Shit. That was risky. My father's fist makes contact with my jaw and the pain paralyses me for a second, I just stand, bent over and clutching my cheek in silent agony. My father laughs.

"Don't be an idiot," he spits. "Of _course_ she wants it. Who _wouldn't_ want to marry the son of Lucius Malfoy?"

To this I almost laugh. "You're nothing special, Father," I say bitterly. "You have money, that's all, money and –"

I don't get to finish my sentence because I'm knocked to the floor by a kick to my shins. I hardly care though, insulting my father felt good, the pain is almost worth it. Almost.

"LUNA LOVEGOOD!"

I was wondering when her name would come up. 

"HOW COULD YOU? DO YOU KNOW WHO HER FATHER IS?"

"Don't you talk to me about fathers," I croak, earning myself a kick in the groin. I curl up on the floor, my eyes squeezed so tightly shut they begin to ache. Hot, angry pains seers through my abdomen and for a couple of minutes I can barely even breathe.

"I will NOT have this cheek from you, Draco," Father sneers, grabbing a fistful of my hair and yanking me up by it so hard my neck jars. "Why are you with that pathetic excuse for a witch? Are you purposely trying to soil the Malfoy name?"

"You want to know why I'm with her? I'll tell you, Father. I am with that pathetic excuse for a witch because she understands. Because she knows what it's like to be me. Because she cares about my feelings. Because she's gentle, sweet, kind and thoughtful, and because I love her."

__

I love her. The words echo around and around in my brain until they start to make sense, because I realise at that second that I do love Luna. I've never seen my father look as mad as this. He's quivering with anger, and draws out his wand. I begin breathing so fast that the world starts to spin around me and I can't think let alone see straight.

"_CRUCIO!_"

I've never had Crucio performed on me before. The force of the spell hits me like a tonne of bricks and I fall to the floor. The pain is indescribable – every single nerve ending inside me screams out with pure, intense agony, and the pain is hot and searing. It's so insufferable I begin to feel sick and nauseous, feeling at that second that I would do _anything_ to make it stop.

"Please, Father, please, STOP!" I cry, in between sobs of pain, writhing on the floor in a pathetic heap at my father's feet. When it finally dies away I feel like I have been on some kind of stretching rack – every part of me is aching, dull and throbbing.

"Say you will continue this no longer," he demands, his wand still aimed at me with a trembling hand. I say nothing. "Did you enjoy that spell, Draco?" he hisses. "Because I can do it again, you know."

"I will continue this no longer."  


My voice trembles and I pray to Merlin that he won't sense that it's a lie. 

"Get up," he barks. I obey quickly, limping to my feet, my arms hugged around me. He draws his face close to mine, and positions his lips millimetres from my ear. "Just remember that you are _nothing_. You are scum, Draco Malfoy. Nobody likes you for the person you are, but for your family name. Malfoy is the only thing that gets you anywhere. You're an appalling flyer, your grades are not better than a common Mudblood, and you're a _fucking idiot_. If you disappoint me once more and I decide to disown you, that's _it_."

I dread to even think what 'it' means. Just as I think it's all over and he puts his wand back in his staff, he cracks it over my cheek. The long, pointed fangs pierce my face, and as he drags it down I feel the skin ripping, a searing hot pain coursing through me. I put my hand up to my cheek and it immediately becomes soaked in blood as my father disappears out of the door.

__

And I know I may end up failing too   
_But I know you were just like me _  
_With someone disappointed in you _

When Snape comes back into his office about five minutes later I am still sobbing, half in pain and half in panic as I try desperately to stop the blood flow. Every part of me hurts, and there is an array of blood soaked tissues strewn on the floor.

"Come here," Snape says, his tone half concerned and half irritated. Drawing out his wand he mutters, "_sanguis desinere_," and I feel the blood immediately stop. When he says "_sanare vulnus_" and runs his wand over the wound I can feel the skin healing, painfully stretching to cover the gash.

"Why do you let him do it?" I whisper, tears still flowing freely down my cheeks. It's something I ask him every time, but he always manages to avoid the question somehow.

"What your father does to you is none of my business," he answers curtly.

"It _is_!" I protest shrilly. "It is! You're my Head of House!"

Snape turns and picks up a vile. "Drink this, as usual."

I snatch the vile angrily and hobble out of the room, feeling energyless and lethargic, not even caring if Snape thinks me rude or ungrateful. Merlin knows how I'll sleep with every limb pounding in pain like this.

It's going to be a long night.


End file.
